DATE: 08/19/2007 01:05:29 / MOOD: Full of life

I had a really close friend. I dont really know what to call him now. It seemed that we would never lose touch of each other. We would spend hours upon hours talking, conflicting and talking again. There were so many differences but there seemed to be a like and a life like bond. I felt as though he was trying to mold me into what he felt would be an acceptable woman when, I am too free of a spirit to conform to the guidelines of his ideals. I will never stay home and conform. I love myself and everything around me. He did too however, his fear of losing everything he was taught though out his lifetime would not allow it. We lost touch for a few months.

I moved on to another male, he moved on to another female. The only difference is I never tried to imply that he had to be a certain way to built something. I would never lose myself to gain the desire of someone else.

I am like no other woman that he will ever have in his life. Once you have really known me, you remember me for the rest of your life. The female who he is with could not never have that impact. There is a difference between wanting and settling. He missed out on having me in his life and the benefits that come with it. There is one chance to have a woman like me and once I am gone... I don't turn back. He will move on and may be spend the rest of his life with a significant other however, he could never have me. I have forever removed myself... friendship and all.

 

 

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DATE: 02/27/2007 21:06:43 / MOOD: General

If you are sensative to nudity or gore...Do not watch! This movie is very telling...

Goodbye Uncle Tom

 

 

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DATE: 02/26/2007 11:37:50 / MOOD: Bored

I am still waiting for the weather to warm up and stay warm. I am tired of be stuck inside most of the time and stuck in a stuffy sweater or turtle neck even though I look cute in both. Dont get me wrong, winter has its play and it definitely gives a excuse to cuddle with someone because body heat gives warmth however, I am ready to peel off my layers of clothing. I miss doing things outside. I miss my worddrobe consisting of just shorts, tank top and flip flops or something you cant throw on and take off with ease... Going to ball games and theme parks. Winter is usually a boring time for me.

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DATE: 02/19/2007 13:01:02 / MOOD: General

I barely found out one of my ex boyfriends is not longer in the military. Reflecting back on all of his sneaky and under-handed ways, I dont know whether or not for pitty him or look at is as something meant to happen.

I remember me and him being very close and going everywhere however, he eventually clung to his drunken friends and felt as though he had to fight me over them because I choose not to go with him when I knew he would be around them. When I found out about his secret life, it bothered me. He had a wife back home in Alabama, I knew nothing about. He told me he did not smoke but, that was a lie. Infact, he smoked herb. After he told me everything, to my surprise, he thought I was supposed to stay with him and be there for him. I could not believe my ears.

After I would not take him back, decided to throw everything negative you can imagine in my face. I was the enemy and he was the avenger.

He begged me not to tell anyone he was using drugs and I felt it was better not to even mention we were together. He told me that the military was all he had now. I dont believe in hurting anyones means of life. Like a lady, I decided to just leave it alone and walk away from any further insult.

The military being all he had...I still dont understand why he isnt still in the military. I dont know the details and I dare not ask. He has went down like a "used to be."

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DATE: 02/05/2007 12:57:04 / MOOD: General

Hello everyone! I have never thought about this before but when I get in my 60s I see myself wearing a lot of jewelry, flashy clothes and having thinner eyebrows with big long hair like Chaka Khan. I also see myself married to some rich male or a rich man's widow. That or I would be married to a male who is comfortable in social status. I would be hippy and thick with big huge breasts. I will be squeezing into outfits which show every curve and hump. I will be getting my nails done every week, taking trips to Cancun, sitting on a beach chair and drinking tea and juice. That will be more than likely my fate.

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DATE: 01/31/2007 10:39:51 / MOOD: Bored

I have been observing for a little while. The light colored contacts faze has outlasted something I thought would be a short term fade. I remember the major fade beginning when I was in high school. I have been looking at some really freaky looking females. The worst is Asians and many women of African desecent wearing green and blue contacts which is obviously not their real eye color and it is far from sexy. I saw a female who was very ebony skinned with bleach blonde hair and blue contacts, what does that usually mean? I have a friend who is darker tonned and wears bright blue contacts, I am not sure if I have the heart to say that they look crazy. Do people who wear contacts which are not in contrast with themselves know they look funny to many or do they think it is good looking?

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