A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

" Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in

" We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest ."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him". Wherever there is Love, the wealth & the success will eventually come

2 C Da Fate Internet & World Wide Web Will Finnaly End Up, Click This Link

There are lots of abbreviations in emails and all around. If you ever wondered what those abbreviations mean, or if you have wanted to use them but not knowing what they mean, below is a lost of the most usual ones.

These abbreviations were not created for the Internet. Not so long ago, when telex machines were common, they were used in telexes because what was written there needed to be short and it was expensive to send a telex. It was particularly useful with these abbreviations if you had to type the telex manually when in direct contact with someone on the other end of the line. They were still useful if you did a pre-prepared telex (done on a sort of plastic band with holes in particular patterns in them) to send off later. Not so long ago telex machines were used for flight- and hotel bookings and they are still used in contacts between boats.

• AFAIK = As Far As I Know

• AFK = Away From Keyboard

• AKA = Also Known As

• ASAP = As Soon As Possible

• BTW = By The Way

• BRB = Be Right Back

• FAQ = Frequently Asked Questions

• FYI = For Your Information

• FWIW = For What It's Worth

• FUBAR = F**ked Up Beyond All Recognition

• HTH = Hope This Helps

• IMHO = In My Humble Opinion

• IMO = In My Opinion

• IYKWIM = If You Know What I Mean

• LOL = Laughing Out Loud

• LMAO = Laughing My Ass Off

• OTOH = On The Other Hand

• PMJI = Pardon My Jumping In

• PS = Post Script

• TIA = Thanks In Advance

• TPTB = The Powers That Be

• TTFN = Ta Ta For Now

• RE Hi = Hello Again (same as re's)

• ROTFL = Rolling On The Floor, Laughing

• RTFM = Read The F**king Manual

• SO = Significant Other

• SOHF = Sense Of Humor Failure

• SPAM = Stupid Persons' AdvertiseMent

• WB = Welcome Back

• WRT = With Respect To

• WYSIWYG = What You See Is What You Get

• YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary

• YWIA = You're welcome in advance

• :-) = Smiling

Smilies are those small symbols often used in emails to express sentiments or moods that otherwise are hard to communicate digitally when you do not see the person you are communicating with. Below is a short list with some of them:

• :-) = Happy

• (-: = Left Handed/Australian

• :-( = Sad

• ;-) = Winky

• #-) = Oh, what a night!

• :-O = Yelling/Shocked

• :-| = Frowning

• ~~:-[ = Net Flame

• :-$ = Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

• :-P = Sticking Out Tongue

• :-@ = Screaming/Swearing/Very Angry/About To Be Sick

• :*) = Drunk/Clown

• >;-> = Wicked Grin

• R-) = Broken Glasses

• (:-) = Bald

• :-))) = Is Very Fat

• :-{} = Wears Lipstick

• =:-) = A ****head

• @:-) = Wears A Turban

• >:-> = Leering

• $-) = Yuppie/Just Won A Large Sum Of Money

• :,( = Crying

• :=) = Two Noses

• 8:] = Gorilla

• 8-) = Wears Glasses

• B:-) = Wears Sun Glasses On Head

• :-T = Keeping A Straight Face/Tight Lipped

• :-y = Said With A Smile

• :-| = Disgusted/Grim/No Expression

• :~-( = Crying/Shed A Tear

• :'-( = Crying

• :-! = A Smoker

• %- = Has A Hangover

• |-o = Bored

• :-X = A Kiss/Lips Are Sealed

• (:-D = Has A Big Mouth

• (:+) = Has A Big Nose

• :-{) = Has A Moustache

• :-* = Just Ate Something Sour/Bitter Taste/Kiss

• [:-) = Is Wearing A Walkman

Plea For Help

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Shukaansi 10.3 and Baashaal 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

I found that if you install Mistress 1.0 on the same drive Wife 1.0 , Wife 1.0 will un-install automatically, but it will also delete you quicken money files in the process and possibly remove child 1 and child 2 forever.

Solution: Don't install Mistress at any time. If Mistress 1.0 is a consideration, Remove Wife 1.0 first. Will solve all problems.

Similar to the problems with removing Internet Explorer 4, once installed, the removal of Wife 1.0 is often a difficult and painful process that can further damage portions of the Operating System. The user should always carefully consider the ramifications of installing any software before installation, noting any incompatibilities between the user's OS, Wife 1.0 and any related files

Answer:

I have recently experienced the surprising results of that "upgrade" myself and couldn't resist responding with some "tech support"... Unexpected child processing is one of the principle undocumented features of your upgrade. While the drain on valuable resources can be truly stunning, the long turn benefits can be awesome. This undocumented feature can be avoided in most cases through use of the P.I.L.L 1.0 patch.

Wife 1.0 does install itself into all other systems. Depending on how effectively you apply proper wife maintenance procedures ( communication, love, affection, gifts, quality time, etc.), this profound intrusion will produce either substantial system wide improvements or substantial system wide degradation. (many users experience a mixed bag of results as maintenance procedures for this program require an unmatched level of user commitment.)

Wife 1.0 is completely incompatible with certain programs. Many of these programs are detrimental to system efficiency and health and this benefit is one of the incidental advantages to installation. Others will fail simply because the Wife 1.0's maintenance requirements and/or drain on system resources.

As you have noted, uninstall followed by a "downgrade" to Girlfriend 1.0 will always fail. While it is theoretically possible to purge the system of Wife 1.0 and install a copy of Girlfriend 2.0, this process is costly and filled with many unexpected and unpredictable problems. Many users find themselves upgrading Girlfriend 2.0 to Wife 2.0 only to find that Wife 1.0 was a better install than they originally appreciated.

Female users who are considering this upgrade their Boyfriend 1.0 are urged to evaluate the changes to their system carefully. The potential improvements in overall system productivity and stability are awesome but entail profound changes in overall system priorities and resource allocation.

Your "system" will never be the same,

(Husband's Voice) "My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished."

(Wife's Voice) "Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you."

(Doctor's Voice) A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message."

(Man's Voice) "Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money."

(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message."

(Voice of a Teenager) "Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

(Girl's Voice) "Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

(Angry Man's Voice) "Hi. Now you say something."

(Microsoft Default Sam's Voice) "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

(Macintosh Default Kill's Voice) "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

(Microsoft Default Sam's Voice) "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

(Allian's Voice) "This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic > thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

(in a bored voice) "Heaven, God speaking.."

(Police Officer's Voice) "Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."

44 REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GIRL!

1) Free dinners.

2) You can cry without pretending there's something in your contact.

3) Speeding ticket? What's that?

4) You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports.

5) If you're a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being.

6) A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.

7) In high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned.

8) If you have to be home in time for Ally McBeal, you can say so, out loud.

9) If you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling.

10) If you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup.

11) If you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser.

12) You could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.

13) Brad Pitt.

14) You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.

15) You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clippers.

16) When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.

17) If the person you're dating is much better at something than you are, you don't have to break up with him.

18) If you think the person your dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him

19) If you don't shave, no one will know.

20) If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21) You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22) You can dress yourself.

23) Your hair is yours to keep.

24) If you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you're really chic.

25) You don't have to pretend to like cigars.

26) You'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything.

27) If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot.

28) You're rarely compelled to scream at the TV.

29) You and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share your feelings.

30) If you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty.

31) Sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need.

32) Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in your teeth.

33) When you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good thing.

34) Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.

35) If you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it.

36) You'l never regret piercing your ears.

37) You can fully assess someone just by looking at his or her shoes.

38) You'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra.

39) You don't have hair on your back.

40) If anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get implants.

41) You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.

42) If you have big ears, no one has to know.

43) You can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny.

44) You can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on Jerry Springer.

100 REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY!

1) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.

3) You know stuff about tanks.

4) A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

5) Monday Night Football.

6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

7) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

8) You can open all your own jars.

9) Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gainedweight.

10) Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

11) When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

12) Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.

13) All your orgasms are real.

14) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.

15) Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).

16) You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

17) You understand why "Stripes" is funny.

18) You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

19) Your last name stays put.

20) You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

21) When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

22) You can kill your own food.

23) The garage is all yours.

24) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

25) You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment".

26) Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

27) You never have to clean a toilet.

28) You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

29) Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

30) Wedding plans take care of themselves.

31) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or shecan still be your friend.

32) Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

33) The National College Cheerleading Championship.

34) You don't have to shave below your neck.

35) None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

36) You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

37) If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

38) You can write your name in the snow.

39) You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

40) Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

41) Chocolate is just another snack.

42) You can be president. (In this lifetime.)

43) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

44) Flowers fix everything.

45) You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

46) You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

47) You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

48) Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

49) You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

50) You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.

51) Foreplay is optional.

52) Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

53) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

54) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

55) You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.

56) You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

57) Car mechanics tell you the truth.

58) You don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut.

59) You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking He must be mad at me.

60) The world is your urinal.

61) You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.

62) You get to jump up and slap stuff.

63) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

64) One mood, all the time

65) You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

66) You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.

67) You know at least 20 ways to open a Coke/beer bottle.

68) You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

69) Same work...more pay!

70) Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

71) You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

72) Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

73) You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.

74) With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

75) You don't mooch off others' desserts.

76) If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

77) The remote control is yours and yours alone.

78) People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

79) ESPN's SportsCenter.

80) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

81) Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

82) You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

83) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

84) You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

85) If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.

86) Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

87) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

88) If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

89) Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

90) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

91) You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

92) You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

93) If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.

94) New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.

95) Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

96) You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

97) Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.

98) Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with:"So... notice anything different?"

99) Baywatch

100) There's always a game on somewhere.

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Humankind's propensity for imposing anthropomorphic characteristics on inanimate objects has now reached computers. But, which gender should your Computer be?

It was quite some time when I posted on my page, a bulletin entitled "Is It True? Computers Are Male?

Since then, many of SomaliLife members replied with various views about the bulletin. But before I began my current topic, I want to remind you what the first simple bulletin was about:

1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.
3. It is always necessary to have a backup.
4. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having one is the games you can play.
6. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
7. The lights are on but nobody's home.
8. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
9. Size does matter.
10. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
11. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.
12. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
13. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an underpowered system.
14. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.
15. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
16. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

After that comment, I asked myself do the computers have any resemblance of Female characters. I searched as much computer literature I could laid ma hands on, & I found that my previous judgment was wrong, Because computers have more feminine characters.

Reasons Why Computers Are Female

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. A better model is always just around the corner.
3. The native language they use to communicate with each other (among computers) is incomprehensible to everyone else.
4. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
5. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
6. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
7. They're oh so picky, picky, picky.
8. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
9. Beauty is only shell deep.
10. When you ask them what's wrong, they always say 'nothing'.
11. They can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
12. They are always turning simple statements into big productions.
13. Small talk is important.
14. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
15. They make you take the garbage out.
16. Miss a period and they go wild.

Hehehe, that's funny. Finally, I wanna ask you what you think that computers resemble our Somali men & women cultural behaviour. As an example, do computers have Somali women's behavioral moods like Surucyo, Mukur, Walac etc? or do the computers have resemblance of Somali men's Buufis, Bac, and Yabaal etc?

Science Monitor Magazine had published that new hidden and previously unknown science breakthrough by one of the Greatest Sceintists Isaac Newton had been discovered around Jijigasvilla, SS.

The magazine described this treasure called Universal Law Of Love will change the course of human lifestyle. This latest Universal Law is said to be as follows:

Universal law of Love:

"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money."

1. First law of Love:  "A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent (brother or father of the girl) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."
2. Second law of Love: "The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."
3. Third law of Love: "The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping." 

OgadenRedBull