DATE: 04/29/2008 18:21:39 / MOOD: General
Heavenly father please hear me tonite i need so much guidence to live my life right sometimes the pressure is so hard to bear i often wonder if any one cares. how can i wake up and face a new day, knowing i have to live my life this crazy way. to heavenly father forgive all my sins, i want to change but where do i begin. give me tha strength to resist tha wild life i desire, help me get away from tha nightly gun fire. please god bless my family whos eyes silently plead for me not to go out, as they all watch me leave and god bless my mother who cries every night, worrying that ill be killed in yet another gangfight. heavenly father please answer my prayers please let me kno that ur listening up there when will it end? whats it all for? to prove to my homies yea im down . . . . . . yea im hardcore! sometimes i even wonder how will i die by bullet wound , or a knife in my side heavenly father please hear me tonite, give me tha strength to live my life right. please show me tha way to live my life right, help give my heart peace so i dont have to fight, thank you for your forgiveness lord for still being there, most of all thank you for listening to this gangsters
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DATE: 07/25/2007 20:29:38 / MOOD: Angry
I feel like i'm between a rock and a hard place. It's true what they say about more money more problems. I've become more successful with the music which has caused a lot more attention to what i do a lot more jealousy, love and a lot more hate. I'm no longer the person I was when I started chasing my dream full time. I've become wiser, smarter, and rational, I don't run the streets like I used to and honestly that bothers me beyond belief because I'm not no house nigga. It seems like I got beef anywhere i go with mu'f%/#as I don't even know just because I'm strong in opinions. I want all you f%/#in' haters to know somethin' off top: I stand for what I believe in and I'm willing to die for everything I represent but I'm not willing to die or fight over your jealousy hate and ignorance! All this beef is discouraging me and I'm wondering if me starting my record label was really worth it because in the process, all I have is new friends that I don't trust as much as the ones that have seen me struggle but i guess i'm too "Hollywood" for them. I'm an arrogant mu'f%/#a I know this but I'm not a pompous ass and people really do get on my f%/#in' nerves. I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF OLD FRIENDS HAVIN' PROBLEMS WITH ME ALL OF A SUDDEN BECAUSE I DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE THEM NO MORE ON SOME CHILDISH SHIT I'M 21 FUCKIN' YEARS OLD I'M A BUSINESS MAN NOT YA FUCKIN' HOMEBOY. I'M SICK OF RAPPERS WHO DON'T REALLY KNOW ME HAVING SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO ME BECAUSE OF MY NAME OR THE WAY I FEEL GET OFF MY DICK I DON'T KNOW YOU NIGGAS. I'M SICK OF NIGGAS CALLIN' ME FAKE BECAUSE I STOP FUCKIN' WITH THEM WHEN ALL THEY DO IS FUCK THEMSELVES OVER. I'M SICK OF BEIN' IN THE HOUSE PLAYIN' XBOX LIVE NOT GOIN' OUT CUZ I KNOW THAT ANYWHERE I GO SOMEBODY IS GONNA HAVE AN ISSUE WITH ME. I AIN'T NO GANGSTA I GOT NO PROBLEM SAYIN' THAT BUT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT MINES I WALK ALONE EVEN WITH A MILLION PEOPLE BEHIND ME I'M A LONE WOLF AND THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER CHANGE. I'M GROWING HATE IN MY HEART BECAUSE OF ALL YOU PEOPLE. I'VE LOST ANY SENSE OF TRUST WITH ANYONE WHO ISN'T IN MY CIRCLE!!! YOU NIGGAS OUT HERE THAT BE SHOOTIN' NIGGAS ARE ALL FAKE TO ME CUZ YOU SHOOT FOR NO REASON AND THAT MAKES YOU FAKE...ME BEIN' CONCERNED ABOUT MY WELL BEIN' DON'T MAKE ME FAKE....I'M HUMAN I GET SCARED JUST LIKE ANY MU'FUCKA OUT HERE AND YOU LAME NIGGAS WANT TO FIGHT OVER A BITCH AND KILL OVER A STARE OR A BUMP MAKE ME SICK TO MY FUCKIN' STOMACHE. I ONLY FEAR GOD AND UNACCOMPLISHMENT. It's always an issue with somebody every damn day...bitches talkin' need to shut the f%/# up cuz almost all of you ain't worth a breath to me tryin' to set up niggas I see you all I'm two steps ahead of ya'll.....I'm fake for bein' real lol. I go to my home state and I get mad love for me bein' me but out here it's so different and I love Colorado to death but I sure HATE a lot of people in this state who look for hand outs instead of makin' their own oppurtunity. If I could give a lot of you fake niggas some advice it would be just to be yourself. Not all you faggots is gangstas and I fail to see why there's gangstas out here anyway when niggas is killin' niggas for the f%/# of it. Most of ya'll don't represent anything but violence just to get respect and for those who don't know.....takin' someones life with a gun is not gangsta jumpin' niggas is not gangsta. gettin' money is gangsta ridin' with ya boys no matter what is gangsta talkin' to a niggas face is gangsta. fightin' everyone ain't gangsta if you fight you fight for a true meaning not because you think you harder than this other cat that makes you look like a childish bitch and I don't know about everyone else but I don't respect it. Fuck all you niggas and If ya'll went to a real city with real gangsta with a real purpose just know one thing......there would be a lot more rest in peace shirts with all the ignorants%&t a lot of niggas do out here let's be smarter. You little niggas won't be able to step in my way and I WILL CRUSH ALL OF YOU LIKE THE BUGS YOU ARE LOL. THE KING HAS LEFT THE BUILDIN'.
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